How do we know if our kids are struggling?

Exhausted, grumpy, and just plain over it? We may feel it, and so may our kids, as the end of term three approaches, but when is a mid-year slump more than just that and how do we help push through it?

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  Exhausted, grumpy, and just plain over it? We may feel it, and so may our kids, as the end of term three approaches, but when is a mid-year slump more than just that and how do we help push through it? Parenting expert Bailey Bosch is here to help, hi Bailey.

  Hi, thanks for having me.

  How do we know if our kids are struggling, is it always obvious? 

  No, it's not always obvious, some kids are excellent at explaining to us, they might be able to articulate that, of course younger kids will show it in physical symptoms, those unexplained tummy aches, etc. But no, it's not always so obvious, we might notice they don't want to do activities that they normally love, so it's a bit of a detective game for parents at this time of year.

  How can we help them get through it? 

  Sometimes it's more about stopping things - so maybe we can look at the schedule, are there some activities we can take away? But also, are there things we can do, nothing like changing things up a little bit to get out of a slump. Do some different things on the weekend, have some ‘no demand’ weekends. Stop over scheduling the activities, just have it a free range weekend.

  Why are school holidays a good time to do this and to regroup as a family? What should we be doing over that time? 

  Firstly, I think managing expectations. We come into school holidays with these big plans of what we're going to do. Kids might be hoping to do things that their friends are doing, which are not really possible for some families, especially working parents. So, I think firstly coming in with some really realistic expectations to start with, but then choosing small things. Like I said, you either start doing some new things - it could be simple after dinner games, a movie night. But also, maybe stop doing certain things. So, if it's a big rush in the morning, school holidays allow you that opportunity to just rest and recharge on those days. 

  And if you really are exhausted and the kids are pushing to do more and more how do you actually deal with them?

  So, I personally think those are the times you use the devices as a tool, let's be honest, put something on that you agree with, I'm not saying just let them have free range on the devices, but if it gets you half an hour here and half an hour there, parents need to recharge just as much as their kids do. And I think don't start beating yourself up over the fact that you've used the device as a tool which is what it's intended for. 

  Correct, and as you just said parents can be struggling, they can feel it too, so how do we stop our feelings from impacting our kids then? How do we reset? Is it literally just giving them that hour or two on their device, or shutting a door? 

  Yeah, I think practicing good self-care as parents, it's either about deciding what type of rest you need - do you need to recharge, do you need to actually withdraw. Ask somebody else to look after the kids, put them on the device, and yeah literally go sit in the bath or do something like that. Or also, manage your expectations, if you come into something with a realistic expectation it often turns out a lot better.

  And very quickly, how can we tell if it's something more serious?

  Yeah, I think when the circumstances change - so you might be back to normal school activities, you might have had that chance to rest and recharge and these symptoms are still hanging around. That feeling of sort of doom, or slump, or grumpiness, maybe then it might be time to look at it. If the circumstances have changed and the behaviour is still lingering, that might be time to consider professional help.

  School holidays start in 10 days time, we are sure many can't wait, thanks Bailey. 

  Thank you.